My Daddy Strongest...

I still remember my kindergarten days when my dad used to take me for a long walk through Panampilly Nagar to my so called school. I often wondered why we often walk while the rest of my class mates came in their own car or an auto. I envied those kids who could buy cartons of Fudgy(its no more in the market) just to get those free GI JOE stickers. My list was endless just like any other kid in the block.But somehow somewhere I felt I lacked something in my life though I was never unhappy. There is a limit to which kids can think deeply and I was no different.

As my dad was a bank officer we kept on moving from one place to another every three years. New friends,new places and experiences kept my life moving. As I grew older, the feeling that I am not treated well as a single kid started eating my head more often.Something or the other issue always happened and my dad was never ready to give up on his stand. Things were worse once I became a teenager and there were days when I believed that I am just an adopted kid!!!!!

The issues were silly and my dad being a short tempered man always ended up in overpowering me with his words.I had no other choice,but to close my door and think of a different idea to somehow convince him and get my things done. When I say of issues,it was more or less related to buying something,be it the latest cycle or an electronic gadget. Though he never got me the things I really wanted,he somehow made sure that he gets at least something similar to that.

All those days I believed he was earning a good package and he was just being a miser saving for the so called future or my future as he said. It was after my 10 th, when he got transferred to a rural place in Malappuram district,he insisted me to go and stay in a boarding school in Cochin or Trichur. I was 16 and it was then when we had our first serious conversation about life and future. He told everything right from his salary,how he is planning to go about my studies and why he is sharing all that with me. Though I never took the conversation seriously at that point of time,I felt on top of the world because I strongly believed my mom has no idea about all this and he has started seeing me in a better position than mom!!!!!!

As a teenager, I was excited about the freedom that I was about to get and the fact that I am free from the clutches of my parents. I started getting regular pocket money every month and made the most out of the freedom they gave me. Two years passed by and I did nothing other than wasting almost his years' CTC with a pathetic result for my 12 th boards. It was then that I realised what kind of a person my dad is. He took me back home and that was one of the longest journey I ever had in my life. Facts and figures which he shared with me before joining kept churning up in my mind and I was feeling completely helpless. He spoke to me again,never mentioning anything about the past two years but asking me how to go about the future and what my plans are. Those were the moments when I hated me the most..

A year passed by in between and I was fortunate enough to get admission in a leading Govt: professional college making me feel proud of myself and everyone around me. During my admission,he told me a few words which I still remember.."I wont be coming back to to your college again.This is your world and you have grown up to decide on what to do and what not to''

As always,I was more curious of the life that's about to come and the abnormally unbelievable freedom that he has given me. College life never left me bored and I had a gala time well above my expectations. I bunked class,boozed,doped and what not,even had to stay in police custody.

It was then again I doubted if I am an adopted child as my dad never took an initiative to let me out of the police case I was into.All he said was "you are old enough to come out of whatever you are into and I am sure you will do it''

Many people still tell me that I am totally different from the ''single child'' that you come across. Though I hated my dad for various reasons in the past,now I know that I am what I am because of him. Now I know why I was taught life the harder way and why I was told to cross the road alone and go to the salon at the age of five!!! Now I know why he didn't support me the way I wanted in times of trouble and why he gave me the complete freedom once I started earning myself. I still wonder how he managed to build up a well settled family of three even though he was forced to take VRS at the age of 53 due to some physical ailments. I wonder how he still manage to walk in the night with his +12.5 powered spectacles. Probably its that will power to live against the will that i need to learn from him..

Now I can feel the difference in the way we talk and the kind of things we share. Recently he told me that I am earning more than what he was earning 10 years back. Though that sounds sweet from a dad, I feel pity for the fact that I haven't done anything for him till date and still needs his support at times of need. Probably its that feeling that he is there with me that keeps me going in life. I am sure,if not all,at least a few might have gone through the same..

Sorry mom,

I love "acha" more than you...

and I am scared... both of u are getting old and is alone over there......